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I’ll admit: I really didn’t follow the trial closely (stay with me, now). It was in my face every time I turned on the TV, went on various forms of social media, etc. I was tired of it. And unlike a lot of people who said, ‘Well, they both abused each other…’ I beg to differ.
I had no dog in that fight. Honestly, I’m a fan of Johnny Depp but not a huge one. He wasn’t my go-to actor I’ll watch in everything, but I did like a lot of his movies I did see. Bear recently became a fan of Edward Scissorhands so score one for Mommy!
When I learned he was dating Amber Heard, I thought it was weird. Not because of the vast age difference but just because it was weird. They didn’t look like they went well together. Some couples you see and you know they mesh. Some couples you see and you know they’re there for the tax purposes, but I digress.
I was equally surprised Johnny married Amber, considering he didn’t (or couldn’t, depending on who you ask) his former loves, supermodel Kate Moss and artist Vanessa Paradis, the mother of his two children. I wasn’t surprised, however, that Depp and Heard divorced a very short time later.
So, that brings us to today.
I’m not one of those people who say, ‘Well, they both were abusive.’ I can admit I used to say that, but as a close friend who is a diehard Depp fan (and domestic abuse survivor) pointed out to me, there is no such thing as mutual abuse in domestic violence (DV) relationship. One is always the aggressor.
I’m reminded of a family member who was in a DV relationship. He, yes, was abused a lot. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. It drained him for a good part of his life. I never liked his wife. I got weird vibes from her the moment I met her, and even today, I still don’t think of her in suitable regard. She was one of those people I like to refer to as bad seeds. Just rotten to the core.
They had a very tumultuous relationship that only ended when she died at a young age of breast cancer. Even when she was battling cancer, she was still a cunt. She was still abusive. And he took it. I think he did love her. I think he thought it was cancer speaking (she was like this even before cancer). I mean, who knows, really? I just know that since her death, he’s been happier.
So, what does this have to do with the Heard/Depp trial? Well, there’s this:
Men can also be the victims of DV relationships. It’s grossly underreported and honestly, a lot of men who think they just need to be tougher and not so emotional are too scared to say anything. Think about it: is anyone really going to believe a man when he says his wife or girlfriend have been abusing him?
In a DV relationship, someone is always the aggressor; there is no such thing as mutual abuse. I think back to that epic fight scene in What’s Love Got to Do It, based on Tina Turner’s life. She said she finally had enough and she fought back. Now, based on that scene, one can say it was mutual. Those who’ve read her book and watched the movie, know it’s far from the case. At one point does one get so frustrated, they finally lash out?
I don’t believe this will set back real victims coming forward, but I think it’ll have a significant negative impact on #metoo. I’ve always had issues with the #metoo movement for various reasons, and I’m still not sure if it’s done more good than harm. I do believe the verdict in the Depp/Heard case has given more people who question victims even more a reason.
I’m not celebrating the verdict; again, I had no dog in that fight. I can’t tell you details of it. I can’t recall what an attorney said when, or what evidence was presented (other than the widely-reported evidence of Amber pooping in Johnny’s bed, and y’all…that’s just fucking gross).
All I can say is I hope from this verdict, lessons are learned as to what is considered to be abuse and what can be done about it. Johnny Depp has millions of dollars (and a lot of time) at his disposal but not a lot of people can say the same.
If you watched the trial, what are your thoughts about it and the verdict?
